what do you think about me now ?

just when you think everything is going so well ,

everything just fall back on you again ,

it's like having this big barrier in front of you ,

that is nearly impossible to reach.

it's sad to know that i cant see you ,

just when i thought things will go fine ,

things just seems to be in the way ,

as if its not meant to be .

things happens for a reason most of the time ,

this time, although i dont want to ,

but this keeps on appearing ,

the whole reason why i had that 1 year resolution .

its just coming back to haunt me ,

killing me not physically but emotionally ,

yes i might be some weakling to run away from the things i dont want to face ,

i was never that strong either .

i just thought well maybe this is a sign from god ,

idk its just something that i believed in ,

you have always been there not physically but virtually ,

and all this isnt your fault .

though you want me to have the best of happiness ,

idk if i could 100% guarantee you that whether your there or not ,

that i would have that happiness that you seek ,

i have been down this road before .

still dont know why i dont learn from my mistakes ,

i just thought this time it might be different ,

as stupid i may seem ,

i cant face the facts of life ...

it'll be hard for me but please dont worry bout me ...

xoxo's