Friday, March 6, 2009

trying to keep it all inside till the time comes to let it all out .

my parents just left like 10 mins ago . and idk i feel weird . not used to it i guess . well i started tearing up like 5 mins after they left . and all my memories not only of them but of others too . treasured memories of friends and family that is kept in me . i feel the drama all over again . didnt realize that even my friends touch the heart in me . and those that was a loved one before .

it feels different when your not around . I'm just not used to it anymore . i tried keeping it together and being strong for some reasons i think i should be . having my dignity . but its like ripping me apart when I'm trying to pull it back together . ever since you broke me i tried picking myself up one by one . as the time goes by . holding the pieces together couldn't last long . later it drops piece by piece and i cant pick it up anymore . cause i don't see the reason in doing so . maybe the pieces are meant to be that way . scattered all over till i have the strength to pick it up again .

once i felt like i am the top of the world . just love being me . but later did i know the love that we shared actually meant something to me . the rollercoaster is facing the falling part . the part where not all can go through . only the strong ones are able to pass . i was too weak for it . and it just broke me and you .

i don't know why its popping in my head now and not before . it comes to show that i do care . it hurts so much to know that you don't . therefore i keep it in me . closing my eyes hoping that everything will be okay . that i can survive through this . with or without . but when i came to realize that i cant take it without you . its is too late to do or say anything . cause it doesn't matter anymore . people change . the chemistry we shared change . which causes it not to matter.

later you grew to realize it to . but you don't dare to show it nor admit it . cause you are just scared . but so am i . neither of us want to show it but you know that you still care . even if you try to deny it . because we're not strangers . we have something to care for too .

im still fighting the wind from pulling me back . trying to run away from you . cause i dont wanna show how fragile i really was . it felt like i just drop glass from the skytower . and guess what im the glass and you were the one that dropped it . i trusted you with the glass but you didnt really care cause it didnt occur to you as much .

then when time has pass . you've realize that you actually do cared for the glass that you've drop and just felt like being the one that caught it and save it before it hits the floor .

but you were too late to do or help . later that glass manage to pick itself up one by one . but it needs someone or something to keep it together from breaking again .

but im not sure whether i can trust you again with the glass that you've drop the last time . so now i live the life where i dont know what to believe in . or whether you were faithful to be trusted . yet the hearts start roaming but just as scared as a lost puppy .

it will stay in my memories
till the day you see that we were more .

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