Just Do It ?

its kinda funny .. i suddenly developed this feeling to pierce my belly .. lol at the same time thinking how crazy it is especially since my lifestyle is such that it might harm the piercing while its healing .. at the same time thinking who is gonna see it if i rarely expose my belly

just go with the flow or try to rationalize before doing my stunt ?

new wallpaper (:

its not a life and death situation whereby its something like sky diving but well i guess it will affect me someway or another ? no big deal ? i guess its just because i'm in the midst of growing up and experience new things .. its that feeling you get when you first learn how to drive and to know that you can go anywhere at any time (:

or maybe the studying has gone to my head .. crazy little me ..

off to study more i guess ..

To the house down the road

Dear Fucked Up Neighbor,

I want to live when i walk at the sidewalks while walking my dog , if you want to be a race car driver by all means join the f1 race in sepang . There are children, joggers, old people that are constantly walking on this stretch of road that is called a neighborhood ..

if you were to ever knock them over with your myvi that you think is some f1 car , would wonder how it will be like for you to get knocked over someday to notice your retarded driving skills . If you have a fucked up life and prefer to take it out on the road please see some doctor to help with your mental problems yeah :)

Sincerely,

Your fellow neighbor

Fatty in my belly !

I have the tendency to be a workaholic .. wear myself off .. then with one day of total rest im able to fully recover from everything .. with all the headaches i think my mind will explode one day .. living a healthy lifestyle ? we all want that but not always that we are able to be discipline to work out every single day ..

Health has been ignored for awhile and i really feel the need to burn it off .. so tmrw i must and will jog !! :D and no one can stop me ! unless they closed the whole field then maybe i cant do anything about it

oh well got to loose fat NOW !

written in the stars

for some reason i have this random feeling of being scared , afraid of the unknown .. crazy ? yes .. but i cant stop it , its disturbing my mind for productive thoughts . its like all the colors in me has been sucked out and all thats left is the darkness .. maybe its those mood swings ? but all i know its happening now ..

i'm not usually this way , and all of the unwanted memories are starting to come back to haunt the life out of me .. as much as i want to be strong and be confident to live the life that everyone deserves its just one of those days that you'll feel attacked and most vulnerable .. yes if anyone is thinking of attacking me today i might actually hit my breaking point ..

this feeling is not here to stay ..

im finding my way out of this hell hole

the light will shine once again ..

xxxx

i live to inspire !

i had such a great time at the MTV World Stage .. maybe its because of the company ? (: but i still enjoyed it at the end ... sometimes you have to let yourself go then come back to reality .. at first i thought all of this is gonna affect me but i realized that you've been out of my life for awhile , so what difference would it be if it might be for a longer period of time ?

i can control how i feel and how to fix myself up because there's gonna be alot of people out there thats gonna put me down .. but just moving forward is the best way since life is short .. i cant please everyone if they just choose to hate me from the start so i shall quietly live my life and get the most out of it (:

i cant change the past nor predict the future, but be in the present .. it's all up to you and how you wanna take it .. and i believe to a certain extend we choose what the outcome is gonna be and if love is out there it will find its way back ..

off to gain some knowledge !!

i've lost you

people told me not to bother , try to put it in a box and throw it away .. but that is running away from the problem than facing it .. i choose to face the bull and i guess i got my answer .. no matter what i say you wouldnt believe anyway ... it wasnt me alone who said it and i dont see you having a problem with her .. i think there was something more to it that your not telling me .. well i may never find out at this point .. i speak nothing but the truth .. i dont go lying to my parents if you really want to compare ... and you accuse me of lying ?

i'm just speechless to this point .. the only reason why you felt it was because you know you have done it .. its not called "bitching" my friend its just the truth .. your afraid of the truth and you know your at the wrong but its alright thats how we learn is it not ? we're humans and we always make mistakes and i get that , but the thing is your not admitting it but pin pointing it to me .. yes might be wrong of me to write it down but its all how i feel about things .. i did not exaggerate on any point but exactly to what happen ..

i wished it not to end this way or not end at all , we practically grew up together and well i guess we can grow apart as well .. we're not kids anymore but i wonder where it all went .. whatever i did was wrong and never right in your eyes .. so i dont think i need to prove anything to you if you choose to be this way ..

i'm sorry if i have ever caused harm

feeling so lonely .. just for that second

its love all over again ? i realized nobody wants to be left alone .. everyone wants to know that their partner will be there for them till the end of time .. im not gonna be a hypocrite cause i believe in that too .. heart ache hurts the most that is just as bad as a stab in the back .. i have felt it once .. but to feel that way again takes time and trust .. now that i do once again .. im afraid of the heart ache that i might get ..

to get happiness is to feel , to feel is to love , to love is to trust , that then comes along with heart ache and sadness .. yes at times it might be worth it in the long run .. its like going through a cycle .. nothing last forever .. yes this is ideal but i've always wished it would last forever ..

planning to get this as a tattoo ( a snowflake ) .. cheesey but it represents how love is so fragile , once its gone everything is gone with it ..