Welcome to the real world

I stumbled upon this self realization that I always had been protected by my parents from what the real world is. When I was much younger, I remembered of always wanting to grow up, work, live on my own, being able to do the things that I wanted to do without the need to always refer back to my parents.

Now that I have bits and pieces of it which comes with responsibilities & the hardships of life itself. Am I exaggerating ? maybe but this is what it really feels like. It almost feels lonely because there is less social time and even then I stop Rock Climbing for 2 months. This shouldn't happen but it is.

It's good that I'm learning young and adapting to this sudden change but it really is a culture shock. Now I understand why the working world is so much different than our inner child self. It's pretty much like comparing 2 in the extreme opposite of each other.

Why I started blogging again because someone told me that I'm good at it and maybe I shall just continue it. This is my special place for posting up stuff in chronological order of the things that has happen in my life and some are going through different stages/phases of growing up.

I believe the things I'm going through now would allow me to pick up the bruises, learn and walk on my own 2 feet. My goals during this time when I'm working is to start Rock Climbing and have my social life back. I've learn a lot at Saltyskins and even more about tshirts are they specialize in apparel's. I now can truly appreciate the tshirts that I have, after knowing the efforts that people put into producing a tshirt and how even something as simple as that can mean a big difference.

Anyways time to get some sleep....
ZZZZzzzzz

Oh country of mine ...

Dear government ,

the acts you've done for us has been nothing more than ignoring the symptoms to the cancer that will destroy us all. Leaving us with no trust in our government, police force and politic related stuff. How do you expect us to feel if you've never put your shoes in ours, you have all this power and money that it has probably made you lost your ways as a political leader for this country. I sincerely hope you could do better than this before the inevitable happens not only the respect that we used to have for you and this country but to the government in a whole. By running away proves to the people that your not willing to help us grow as a country with the propaganda of 1 Malaysia. No one is bad on this earth its just your actions that hurts people. It has been shown clearly by many of the Malaysians during the Bersih 3.0 Rally.  Face your people, drop all of the acts thats been going on, make a change, make yourself more meaningful as a prime minister, bring a good name to yourself and your country and I'm sure the rakyat will forgive the past.

this just shows what your intentions are and who do you really care for. Pretty much on yourselves .. greed , desire , fear and power has affected your decisions .. do whats right and stop praying that God will forgive your sins , what's the point in that when your just going to redo it again and again and not learn from the mistakes.

sincerely,
a fellow youth citizen

i never knew

sometimes i wonder why i care for people that could potentially hurt me .. i know people come and go but if thats a rule then i want to find a way to break it .. because i cant stand the fact that after all the memories everything is forgotten and the priorities are no longer set as the way it was before .. everything changes , and this annoys me to the max .. I've met alot of new people every time i change institutions , join new activities and so on .. which i then realize that its temporary and not permanent or partly permanent .. i think thats my greatest fear to all the decision making that i choose to make in my life ..

dont know why that is but its my biggest weakness .. its the truth that i could never accept .. i dont see why i should care and others dont .. i cant stand it that people just accept this as a way of life and not fight for something that matters to them .. to this day i'm defeated by that truth .. letting go , treasure the past and hope to make a better future .. This monk named Ajahn Brahmavamso once said if you let go of the things you desire you'll find peace and happiness .. I suppose i desire to always have the people i love with me but everyone knows thats never gonna happen .. so what do i do ? let it go ... if i say i'm ok sooner or later i will be , because thats the positive thinking i should have when times like these do come

now all that is left is the pictures ..

alcoholic much ?

it's been awhile since i've been drinking and sometimes on good occasions it can just relief you from all the judgements and just sets you free .. this obviously cannot be over used if not it looses its value .. the meaning of living in the moment .. thats a thought to keep in mind ..

why do people turn to alcohol during good times and bad times ? and at most times its just to relief what people actually feel inside.. and because most asians have this habit of "being nice" all the time and to not hurt the feelings of the other party .. most of the truth is hidden .. alcohol is nearly a tool to let loose of all the fears and worries ..

just to not give a care in the world and just to reveal whats really inside .. hidden messages in everything we say and do .. directly and indirectly .. its just a fact that has been around for decades .. just something that popped in my mind .. anyways i'm off

xxxx

It's nothing that we know ...

sometimes i wonder why life is such that pushes us to go against the rules, break our value and then we have to try to not repeat it again .. its quite ironic in that sense .. i've not been blogging since forever but it feels good to get back at it again .. i feel even at some point that all of us are just confused people that don't know what we want .. instead we set rules to tell us that this is our boundaries and nothing should go beyond that

to what extend do we dare to change into .. there is more out there that we don't know about .. things that we have not seen .. how can we judge what is right and wrong ? the ways in how our society is run ? the way our parents brought us up ? individual judgement ? the experience that we've went through that shapes our judgement ? endless amount of questions to point out different views from this aspect

where am i going with this ? honestly I'm not very sure .. but what i do know is that sometimes it's just best to let things be and see how it grows from there .. if it dies keep it in your memories , if it lives let it blossom our lives :)

nights !

xxxx

with love

i wanna look back to see the progress i've made so far growing up .. that's like saying how we grew fond of each other and made it this far .. i love every minute of it, during fights well it happens but hey love shows from the argument itself . I know these days has been tough for you , just hang in there cause when there's an up , there's a down and vice versa ..

with love,

xxxx

Just Do It ?

its kinda funny .. i suddenly developed this feeling to pierce my belly .. lol at the same time thinking how crazy it is especially since my lifestyle is such that it might harm the piercing while its healing .. at the same time thinking who is gonna see it if i rarely expose my belly

just go with the flow or try to rationalize before doing my stunt ?

new wallpaper (:

its not a life and death situation whereby its something like sky diving but well i guess it will affect me someway or another ? no big deal ? i guess its just because i'm in the midst of growing up and experience new things .. its that feeling you get when you first learn how to drive and to know that you can go anywhere at any time (:

or maybe the studying has gone to my head .. crazy little me ..

off to study more i guess ..