blackcherry

with love

2011-12-13T21:24:00.001-08:00

i wanna look back to see the progress i've made so far growing up .. that's like saying how we grew fond of each other and made it this far .. i love every minute of it, during fights well it happens but hey love shows from the argument itself . I know these days has been tough for you , just hang in there cause when there's an up , there's a down and vice versa ..

with love,

xxxx

Just Do It ?

2011-11-22T05:04:00.000-08:00

its kinda funny .. i suddenly developed this feeling to pierce my belly .. lol at the same time thinking how crazy it is especially since my lifestyle is such that it might harm the piercing while its healing .. at the same time thinking who is gonna see it if i rarely expose my belly

just go with the flow or try to rationalize before doing my stunt ?

new wallpaper (:

its not a life and death situation whereby its something like sky diving but well i guess it will affect me someway or another ? no big deal ? i guess its just because i'm in the midst of growing up and experience new things .. its that feeling you get when you first learn how to drive and to know that you can go anywhere at any time (:

or maybe the studying has gone to my head .. crazy little me ..

off to study more i guess ..

To the house down the road

2011-10-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Fucked Up Neighbor,

I want to live when i walk at the sidewalks while walking my dog , if you want to be a race car driver by all means join the f1 race in sepang . There are children, joggers, old people that are constantly walking on this stretch of road that is called a neighborhood ..

if you were to ever knock them over with your myvi that you think is some f1 car , would wonder how it will be like for you to get knocked over someday to notice your retarded driving skills . If you have a fucked up life and prefer to take it out on the road please see some doctor to help with your mental problems yeah :)

Sincerely,

Your fellow neighbor

Fatty in my belly !

2011-09-14T06:18:00.000-07:00

I have the tendency to be a workaholic .. wear myself off .. then with one day of total rest im able to fully recover from everything .. with all the headaches i think my mind will explode one day .. living a healthy lifestyle ? we all want that but not always that we are able to be discipline to work out every single day ..

Health has been ignored for awhile and i really feel the need to burn it off .. so tmrw i must and will jog !! :D and no one can stop me ! unless they closed the whole field then maybe i cant do anything about it

oh well got to loose fat NOW !

written in the stars

2011-08-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

for some reason i have this random feeling of being scared , afraid of the unknown .. crazy ? yes .. but i cant stop it , its disturbing my mind for productive thoughts . its like all the colors in me has been sucked out and all thats left is the darkness .. maybe its those mood swings ? but all i know its happening now ..

i'm not usually this way , and all of the unwanted memories are starting to come back to haunt the life out of me .. as much as i want to be strong and be confident to live the life that everyone deserves its just one of those days that you'll feel attacked and most vulnerable .. yes if anyone is thinking of attacking me today i might actually hit my breaking point ..

this feeling is not here to stay ..

im finding my way out of this hell hole

the light will shine once again ..

xxxx

i live to inspire !

2011-07-26T01:24:00.000-07:00

i had such a great time at the MTV World Stage .. maybe its because of the company ? (: but i still enjoyed it at the end ... sometimes you have to let yourself go then come back to reality .. at first i thought all of this is gonna affect me but i realized that you've been out of my life for awhile , so what difference would it be if it might be for a longer period of time ?

i can control how i feel and how to fix myself up because there's gonna be alot of people out there thats gonna put me down .. but just moving forward is the best way since life is short .. i cant please everyone if they just choose to hate me from the start so i shall quietly live my life and get the most out of it (:

i cant change the past nor predict the future, but be in the present .. it's all up to you and how you wanna take it .. and i believe to a certain extend we choose what the outcome is gonna be and if love is out there it will find its way back ..

off to gain some knowledge !!

i've lost you

2011-07-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

people told me not to bother , try to put it in a box and throw it away .. but that is running away from the problem than facing it .. i choose to face the bull and i guess i got my answer .. no matter what i say you wouldnt believe anyway ... it wasnt me alone who said it and i dont see you having a problem with her .. i think there was something more to it that your not telling me .. well i may never find out at this point .. i speak nothing but the truth .. i dont go lying to my parents if you really want to compare ... and you accuse me of lying ?

i'm just speechless to this point .. the only reason why you felt it was because you know you have done it .. its not called "bitching" my friend its just the truth .. your afraid of the truth and you know your at the wrong but its alright thats how we learn is it not ? we're humans and we always make mistakes and i get that , but the thing is your not admitting it but pin pointing it to me .. yes might be wrong of me to write it down but its all how i feel about things .. i did not exaggerate on any point but exactly to what happen ..

i wished it not to end this way or not end at all , we practically grew up together and well i guess we can grow apart as well .. we're not kids anymore but i wonder where it all went .. whatever i did was wrong and never right in your eyes .. so i dont think i need to prove anything to you if you choose to be this way ..

i'm sorry if i have ever caused harm

feeling so lonely .. just for that second

2011-06-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

its love all over again ? i realized nobody wants to be left alone .. everyone wants to know that their partner will be there for them till the end of time .. im not gonna be a hypocrite cause i believe in that too .. heart ache hurts the most that is just as bad as a stab in the back .. i have felt it once .. but to feel that way again takes time and trust .. now that i do once again .. im afraid of the heart ache that i might get ..

to get happiness is to feel , to feel is to love , to love is to trust , that then comes along with heart ache and sadness .. yes at times it might be worth it in the long run .. its like going through a cycle .. nothing last forever .. yes this is ideal but i've always wished it would last forever ..

planning to get this as a tattoo ( a snowflake ) .. cheesey but it represents how love is so fragile , once its gone everything is gone with it ..

It's far better to learn

2011-06-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

i guess this can add to another chapter in my life ? felt so weak but yet its just me denying the truth .. the way our parents thought us manners , to respect the elders whether you like it or not .. and to be constantly be "nice" and not rude to others .. i guess people has been taking advantage of me that way ..

showing my true colors

yes i have far more to learn , and only one person dared to point that out .. i might be such a kid at times and i do admit that .. as much as i want to grow up and be more matured there's always a childish side to me .. something that i still hold on to .. yes at times how i wish the other person would know what im thinking about because its so hard to say it in words ..

im screaming out loud in my mind but silent in reality .. it sucks at times but i guess if you talk to yourself its best when people dont know whats going on in your head .. its easier said than done .. and will definitely take time but im not gonna stop trying to let myself be free from the so called manners

xxxx

just one more day , another day !

2011-05-30T05:31:00.000-07:00

the last exam is tomorrow !! that is the gross accounting but no worries .. already studied so hopefully i pass with flying colors (: i'm gonna make tie dye shirts , it is gonna be something interesting since i have always wanted to do it .. then will be going for the graduate dinner , before saying goodbye to the people that i might not see for a very long time ..

time has run too fast .. hope it is fast enough till our next meet

xxxx

will you be there ?

2011-05-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

i realized i have too many things to do .. even after the exams .. like my room reno .. cheer .. violin .. cousins .. and a whole lot of other stuff .. geez i mean i guess its good ? LOL funny thing is that i signed up for the axn big challenge with the bf soo this will be fun .. if he makes it .. then there's that green thing my parents want me to go for .. college will start soon enough ..

HELP !! c3 is also around the corner . . found out that my toilet is gonna be SUPER small because of the design .. as well as the wardrobe .. hmmm i'm at the middle whereby i'm able to do whatever i want .. its good cause im taking that advantage , guess it makes my life a little bit more interesting than it already is (:

xxxx

i'm not afraid .. to take a stand

2011-05-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

high school is over and on to much more bigger things than just homework, teachers, rules, uniform and etc.. now its on to the next chapter of my life, its now gonna be worth something that has a much greater meaning to it .. this is not how i choose to end my high school life but its already decided .. i shall just leave it to that .. people move on and i cant take the stress you put on me anymore ... this is only referring to one person ..

enough of that .. college is ahead and i have bigger shoes to fill .. nothing says like having the guts to be someone new .. in the rites of passage .. a person is changed to be someone new .. that person will be temporarily taken out of society .. and placed back into society as a new person .. i believe that all of this is coming way to fast .. i mean i did wished i grew up faster to be able to obtain my freedom to do what i want and when i want it ..

geez :S i will have 1 month to just relax and not think about anything but just hanging out with my cousins that are coming in a bit (: and my old buddies that i promised to meet .. till then there are 2 more days of exam ! :D

xxxx

the hectic month !

2011-05-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

exams are coming soonn and then i'll graduate from this joint .. the charity climb is coming end of this month , seriously hope it doesnt fall on the day of my exams ): plus room renovation and cousins are coming in june july ishh ? so much to doo ! always have been b0red and now i dont have the time to even be bored LOL

im not sure what im gonna do just yet .. but if i were to take a foundation i will probably do CIMP or MUFY ... c3 and c11 competition is coming soon too and guess what i sprain my ankle again. heal fast my foot .. its a all time must to join them .. dont have to win it but just the experience thrills me :D

wish me luck !! (:

xxxx

singaporee trip ! (:

2011-05-08T07:39:00.001-07:00

had thee most awesome time there (: might not be as perfect all of us are only humans , arent we not ? went to the universal studios and the roller costers there are awesome !! the one that impressed me the most was the red and blue one .. really huge you cant miss it !! went clubbing and i think its freaking boring due to the fact that most of the guys were either fat , weird , old , geeky or just not in any state of mind .

sadly none ! NOTHING D: unless i turn lesbian some of the girls there are really something .. but dont think i will do that anytime soon . went shopping and OMG i couldnt help myself from shopping , im serious you'd die there .. maybe due to the fact im a girl ? sexist i know but still kinda true .. i got myself a nose piercing and was really proud of myself (: yes to some people its just a nose piercing but really i wouldnt have done anything like it since im terrified of needles

the lady was like its gonna be fast and your not gonna feel a thing .. such a liar .. i was scared for my life down there sitting on the chair waiting as she wipes my nose with alcohol and puts the gun in place... BAM !! i twitched and before you know it i felt my nose being soo sore, face turning red like a tomato and tears falling down from my eyes as my cousins are trying to cheer me up .. laughing and crying at the same time , who knew :P

visited some relatives and made a VIDEO (: lol its hilarious

.. probably our asian version of american idol .. we call it " AMATEUR LIVE! " with my cousin staring as Ravender Sigkhcrest (: well i think thats the spelling anyways .. had a blast !! went to the zoo as well .. its pretty cool i guess with all the shows .. just a very good past time .. before i knew it 6 days was over and it was time to head home .. geez that sucked the most ..

thats it !!

xoxo

im officially missing you

2011-04-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

feeling so crumpled, alone, with no barrier of protection .. leaving with only a shirt behind

im not being a downer or being sensitive , its just this feeling that scares me every time without fail

looking at the brighter side .. party is tomorrow and today is pajamas day so i guess it isnt as bad .. cheer took my thoughts away for awhile .. maybe while your away i shall start doing my workouts , reading my books , finishing up assignments before due dates ?

you'll be back .. very soon i just do .. it just feels like forever

xxxx

the time i needed (:

2011-04-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

a gorgeous past time ?

did the catch !! :D

i had an awesome short holiday (: in club med cherating !!

came back with bruises, cuts and aches but it was worth it

with all the sailing, trapeze, swimming, beach volleyball, futsal,

rock climbing, dancing, archery

the cat shoe , funny thing is that the cat didnt bother moving

though not much pictures has been taken cause i dont have a personal photographer

but i managed to squeeze in afew here and there (:

met some nice people along the way

and some people with interesting attitudes

been sleeping late and waking up early cause of the breakfast timing + the partying

xxxx

the year has officially passed ...

2011-04-12T02:32:00.000-07:00

im officially legal to almost everything probably except voting, clubbing/drinking in some countries and some other stuff .. but i believe its gone WAY TOO FAST ! i had the day with my family and him after .. just a nice dinner you and me (: love it so much

the fact that i've started talking to you on my birthday last year and this year look where we are now .. its long but what the heck (: i have loved every minute of it even today .. havent been doing anything much other than meeting up with some old friends and just hanging around as if its another normal day ..

lost my charger , strain my neck from sleeping awkwardly after drinking a wee bit that night and got this thing in my eye thats killing it D: but its okayy i suppose . finished up my work for the day and cant wait to go to cherating on thursday !! (: yes you people have to sit in your maybe boring/fun lives while i take a runaway to club med

have funn !

xxxx

DOOPELGANGER much !!

2011-04-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

LOL i just found out that i have a freaking doppelganger !! just to interest you her name is Zara Azam and she's 5 days younger than me plus she roughly lives around my area .. GEEZ im excited at the same time its sorta not cause well i dont really wanna look like someone else but myself ..

honestly this is just crazy right now she's working in T.G.I.F sunway pyramid .. this is like a moment to remember .. like you can play a game .. put both our pictures and compare who is the other .. who knew ? she might be a long lost sister of mine ? maybe ? i mean i know there's a saying that goes around "you have a person that will look exactly like you somewhere in this world" but this is just too close dont you think ?

so now i know the reason towards why people always claim to have seen me in places that im not .. and plus the funny thing is that they dont believe me .. thought i might be anti-social or something

whether i look like her or she looks like me .. the thing is we look very similar ..

xxxx

Botak man !! :D

2011-04-03T23:12:00.001-07:00

lol i seem to bitch about the people that tends to piss me off but well its a healthy way for me to express about what i feel about certain people and certain things .. yea i do understand the world dont revolve around me but well this whole blog is about me so i guess this is just my own little world ..

so there's this guy that i've known for awhile and i dont see how he can be so bold about everything like arent you shameful about certain comments you make ? your making yourself look like such a whore since you call me one all the time .. its time to look in the mirror ..

on top of it all he seems to usually or nearly always to be in my work groups and assignments .. how the hell can i work with him when he thinks he's the white guy and he's totally awesome .. so i dont voice out what i think of him but that doesnt mean i wont if you push my patience .. yeah im being nice .. leave me alone man .. keep your comments to yourself if no one asked for them ..

this is random but it's the poster i design with some help from ratri (:

i feel great noww .. (: teeehee

the funny thing is if you piss me off it will be here

well i guess it will be a future distant memory of mine

xxxx

GEEK !! of the YEAR (:

2011-03-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

you know better than to mix my marks than to how i am in school .. please your just screwing up this school .. it used to be fun and such a great feeling being here than the government school , want to know why ? we have such cool people around us even the teachers that are not grumpy/ stuck up

you may think following rules is the way to be, but the people that has made it in this world is the ones that have been breaking the rules and they survived out there

sorry cant find an image of him but this is how he somewhat looks like

i have been finishing assignments before due dates and participating in class and what do you give me in my report ? a good ? i wonder why those that are getting lower marks than me getting excellent in their reports .. this is just gay and messed up .. you dont deserve to be teaching in this school at all

yes i am the one that can stand up against you and that makes you angry cause you have no control to what i can do next .. im just holding on for another 2 months in your gay class .. get a life !! i know your life is a little sad but you dont have to go making the people around you miserable in your wrath ..

lets see if i can find his face ... you know what ? you cant cause he's not even known sorry .. but from the way i describe him you may think its one sided ? yeahh he "tries" to be funny in class but no one is laughing and no one responds .. so that just makes it really sad .. i mean seriously i should have taken another class .. EPIC FAIL

go back to your HOLE !! where you belong

your gonna be the one that is losing want to know why? cause your species is slowly becoming extinct .. cause our world is slowly but surely heading towards the conceptual age and your still stuck in your old ways ..

yea you may like MATH / ACCOUNTING but that does not mean we do and you cant make us even if you wanted to !! there's no profanity words in here so yeah you can bring me DOWN :D

to the WORST teacher (:

cheers

xxxx

recent updates

2011-03-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

: i have thought of getting a tattoo ( but chicken out )

: i then thought about a piercing ( but was scared of an infection )

: then thought of staying at home and do some stuff that i didnt had time for

( that didnt turn out well )

: i thought of taking psychology as my main degree but still had second thoughts

: somehow at some point in my life i feel restless and useless ( not productive )

: i read a book and well that helps but only for some period of time

: assignments ? all done before the due date

yes i should fill my life with a bit more than just that but really when i start doing it , yes it will be time consuming but i somehow feel that it gets a bit too quiet .. so quiet that i have never been left alone to do things on my own .. secret ? that feeling scares me to some point .. attention seeker ? maybe but only too my close buds

i have a new start , new chapter .. i dont know what it's contents is filled with but i sure hope its filled with something worth living for .. time to step up to the game .. here i come (:

xxxx

F-A-K-E ? yeahh totally

2011-03-27T00:34:00.000-07:00

WTF is your problem !? stop acting like a bitch thinking your all awesome because you have a boyfriend and cause you think your pretty .. and you being such a hypocrite .. please you think people that uses make up at the age of 16 and below is fake what about yourself ? pleaseee you started wearing it at that age too so your insulting yourself ?

You think you can push me around whenever you like ? yeahh i have been tolerating your retarded personality for years .. and i cant take it when you are older than be but acting like a TOTAL 9 year old .. geez man GROW UP !

yea there are some parts of you that is worth being with but at most times now your just plain old SELFISH ! acting all nice and forgiving for what choice ? thinking about yourself at most times and just a big old liar .. how long have you been lying and the amount of times i have to cover up for you ? well probably your whole life time ..

trust me i have been looking up to you when i was younger and thank god i have not followed your footsteps to the person you are today

i have enough to say (:

just so you know your pretty ' pathetic '

and hope one day you'll realize this along with the people around you

toodlezz

where the world is upside down ...

2010-08-20T02:28:00.001-07:00

my blog is so dead xD goshh some other day then

xoxo's!

i'm not afraid to take a stand ...

2010-08-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

i hate it how you always assume about the things i didnt do . yea paranoia much but that doesnt mean i will continuously do it you know . it's annoying when there's no sense of trust that eventually cause separation after years of it . driving is going well . its just sooner or later that i will be another user on the road .

watched inception today (: a really interesting movie i shall give it a 10/10 marvelous work . tmrw will be another day just something new everyday . not to long ago i had camping and gosh it was fantastic (: the water rafting , caving along with the other stuff that came along with it that is the mosquitoes and other stuff (: lol but its worth though

other than that i miss my hippo and glitter bitch ): geez

xoxo's!

when its below -50

2010-08-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

my glitter butch is going to china ): geez lol miss her but she'll be too perasan :D but i still love her retarded self . good luck babe for your skating competition . other than that school has been such a bumm the amount of work load im getting makes me feel like giving up seriously . my life revolves around assignments assignments and more assignments .

whole reason why i stop blogging for awhile . i stay back nearly everyday and im like always tired , sleeping early right after im done with my work . just a ton of bullshit and even on the weekends i have chores and more fu*king assignments . i'll be back when i stop winning

xoxo's!

i'm at the edge of my emotions ...

2010-07-21T06:16:00.000-07:00

school has been productive not only for my school work but as well as working out all my fats away (: teehee slowly trying to pick up cheer and to be flexible once again , just missed it so much . this semester is suppose to be the better than the previous one but its getting sucky with all the new retarded rules that just doesnt make sense really . they are getting strict as it is that makes me want to graduate from school soon ):

im picking up all my stunts once again , now my objective is to do a split , walkover , and flips (: these are one of the few that i have to make sure i become successful in that sense as well in my studies but it shouldnt be a problem :D

xoxo's!

honey bee (:

2010-07-18T04:27:00.000-07:00

havent been posting up much cause practically was just too caught up with assignments , anyways this week was pretty good went out to pav . Watched toys story i'll give it a 5/10 and had an awesome time (: . though i didnt managed to get the shirt i wanted so badly from zara but well maybe its just not meant for me .

i passed my driving theory exam and now i got my L (: watch out ! im gonna be on the road soon ! woohooo (: school has just been so tiring since i took up pe again . i would just fall asleep at 10 the most . cant even stay up anymore which is a good thing

xoxo's !

just like a waving flag !

2010-07-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

finished my violin exam !! :D as well as went to the gym nowadays .. i thought i might just loose everything but well something just changed me . let's see where this life will lead me . i may not be able to choose between you but im sure in time i'll figure it out (: school is gonna start ! watch out :P urge for CHOCOLATES !

xoxo's!

me and my toys ;)

2010-07-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

had a pretty productive day (: i went to the gym spent bout 2 and a half hours there , i guess i used my time fully :D and i made my apple crumble pie !! i havent been making it for a super long time till i have forgotten how to make it in the first place but its successful .cleaned up some part of the basement since of all my childhood junk and treasures that we plan to keep and throw away some unused stuff . and surprisingly its majority 80% toys .

LOL shows how much toys i used to have . most of them dont work anymore but there are still some that can still be used . it was sad really throwing the toys that i used to play with its like every toy i picked has memories that comes along with it but i cant use most of it anymore and if i were to keep it its gonna collect dust . i miss my childhood life , as life was so carefree and i just felt like on the top of the world .

geez turn back time when life wasnt this complicated !! :O well the life i have now its fine but there's alot to take care as well the responsibilities that has to be carried out . hmmm :S

xoxo's!

i'm right here ...

2010-07-03T05:19:00.001-07:00

its just the same as any other day but this time is a little bit different (: went to maz idol yesterday , i have nothing much to say really .. i do miss some of my friends but other than that its my past that i never regret leaving . its probably one of the best decisions i've made rather than staying there . yea being where i am today may be expensive and thats why i feel that i have learn so much and i value everything my parents gives or allows me t0 pursue certain things

they may not see the value but i do , yes money is valuable to . its like i'm being left in the middle to be judge all the time . well i expected more in school but for now its just my mom . i love her so much , but it just gets annoying at times but i dont blame her either . i cant expect everything to be given to me and have everything i wanted , but i will make sure i'll make the best out of it .

xoxo's !

Oh my god , i did it again so ima let the beat rock ...

2010-06-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

" there is no fire like lust , no grip like hatred , no mesh like delusion, no surging water like craving " - Buddha

words can be so amazing when it has been put into a sequence for it to be meaningful and valuable. my trip has been great since my brother and i have gotten closer than we were before . since well he and i were young we can nvr really get along . and this trip has changed it all . it changed him as well as my reaction towards him . wait till he's exposed with life . grows up . oh god im gettting old -.-''

xoxo's!

i'm finally home (:

2010-06-25T10:24:00.001-07:00

i'm finally back from my trip (: lol the whole trip was fun and at the same time tiring . wish to spend time more on the beach instead of the city . since the clothes in hong kong wasnt interesting the only thing i can shop for is shoes , skirts and shorts since thats the only thing that looks decent . in a way i didnt do much shopping . but there was a ton of experience , tried different things , learn a bit of cantonese and well just had a ton of fun with my family .

miss all my peeps (: friends , cat , dog , fish . teehee ! gonna go out with my cousins tmrw to watch " She's Out Of My League " and probably not gonna sleep early at all (:

xoxo's !

il y a une première fois pour tout

2010-06-16T06:42:00.000-07:00

goonna go to hongkong tmrw ! (: gosh havent been traveling in awhile, but wont be in contact whatsoever . with facebook and my blog along with my friends for about a week ? i can live with that . i think . i'll make sure there will be tons of pictures taken (: will be leaving tomorrow morning oh gosh im excited (: good night blog ! see yeah in a week

xoxo's!

where we are meant to be ..

2010-06-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

day was so far great , spent time with my cousin . havent been able to be around her due to the distance and all but it's get to get back once in awhile . i cant believe we spent 100 bucks just on arts and craft stuff and they're barely anything just a few pieces of paper and some diff types of items . went and look around for stuff and instead spend all our money there . haih things are just getting to expensive now a days . wanted to watch a movie but line was long and i wanted to watch other movies like

the killers

toys story 3

letters to juliet

and some other movies that i cant think of right now ...

licence seems sooo far away , holidays are finished half way , exams are coming up . oh great . what a life ... just feel so negative at times .

xoxo's !

the life !

2010-06-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

im so frustrated to the way society pushes us to do things we dont want to do . i want to stand up , take that mic and scream !! all of us is being pressured and brainwashed . in other words the young generation must learn to absorb to become open minded and optimistic about the life they intend to live . this subject can be widely debated but this is from my point of view .

damn , sometimes i just wonder why are we living for . people say to make a change to the world . but why must we take care of it , is it just because we live in it ? its like sometimes i felt that people are not meant to be treated that way . as how to each and everyone of us is carved in unique ways and not everybody is the same . so meaning everybody cant get along ?

oh gosh , just let it be ...

xoxo's!

are we really happy ?

2010-06-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

i've learn something today , that people dont notice nowadays . you know how our parents or society tells us that you know you have to get married at this age , then after that get a house , become financially successful , have a family , grow old , and die . if thats their interpretation of life then what about what we want ?

which really got me thinking , if everybody were to follow those steps then where is the part where we enjoy life and do what we want that makes us happy . most of us has been brainwashed that we should do just that and well yes some of us really wants it but is that what everybody wants ?

sometimes well you were happier when life was so simple and you dont have a care in the world but later on when we grow up we start getting stress and only working ourselves up just for money and to live a comfortable life . but that doesnt ensure that we will be happy as well as enjoy life as you fancy it to be . it's just something i think that tends to trigger people and who knows change their path of life (:

xoxo's!

what time is it ?

2010-06-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

you know what i've come to realized ? i cannot get drunk without facing the consequences . lol but i wasnt doing anything wrong anyways . the only wrong that i got out of it was being allergic to it . and the fact that im not a strong drinker ;) oh well that means no belly . lol cant get into much trouble .

other than that the day has been pretty dull other than the fact that i woke up with a blur and dizzy mind . the the thoughts of throwing up is there since this afternoon . then later got the biggest tummy ache ever and got rashes due to the allergy . lol gonna sound like some bimbo but whatever . im not going out till im better (: which i plan to be soon . i hope . well i watched prince of persia and for it being a disney movie it was really not that bad (: 8/10

xoxo's!

run away with me (:

2010-06-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

hey sorry havent been updating all due to exams , but its all OVER NOW !! (: im a free person ! lol from school that is . now that the summer is starting i cant wait to take a good rest from all the work and hectic in school . its like im super happy and excited but i cant express it so much cause im tired from all the studying i went through . lol but it will pump back up tmrw when i get my good night sleep from NO WORRIES !! :D

today right after chemistry we ate lunch with lee xian then head out to pyramid with ratri , andrianna and deedee (: was pretty awesome . went to watch the bounty hunter lol would give it a rate of 8/10 . thought it was pretty good but like the people in the theatre was stupid . they dont even laugh when its funny . lol no sense of humor much lol . the funny part when it was only ratri and i laughing so hard while the rest of the people in silence .

whats that bout ? idk lol . soo excited . wanna pick up activities that i've nvr tried . continue activities that i've stop . take licence and violin exam . its just me and the things i wanna do . go out have fun with my life (: had a great laugh when i was out with them . pictures will come up later on (:

xoxo's!

POOL PARTY ! :D

2010-05-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

oh yeahh !! party tonight !! schools over . but the stupid thing bout it is that exam is next week . but still its OVER !! :D had the pool party yesterday (: though there's some glitches to it but it was still awesome . didnt expect for the set up to be so well , really glad everyone had a great crazy hectic time ! (: i think i partied till my body ache's on me .

most of me cant really think of what to say since school is over but i have to spend this 3 days studying for my exams . especially chemistry . well i will study but no stress ! thats the mission ! anyways will be going to the temple later , cause today is wesak day ! pictures will come up later

xoxo's!

i'm a genie in a bottle baby !

2010-05-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

thought i had one of the worst weeks ever due to the amount of stress that suddenly decided to land on me all at once , but with the some help :) i managed to get though it . thanks babe ! :D love yea tons , wouldn't know what i'll do without you .

planning for an event, finishing ISU's that is actually all done since last week but there are editing to do, study for the up coming exam, have to deal with my business in sunway, got a violin exam, driving licence and thats bout it . well there might be more but might not recall but anyways thats the big list that i have to accomplish some by this month and the rest is next month.

but so far do you believe that im actually very calm and relaxed ? not getting all stressed out for the first time (: and further more if i did get more stress that im suppose to i'm gonna have more pimples on my face . i love my clear face thank you (: not such a bad week with the rate im going

xoxo's!

freakkk !!

2010-05-18T18:22:00.001-07:00

OMG chuck bass died !! he can't die . and the fact that this is the final episode for this season sucks hell !! this last episode is freaking stupid !! leaving viewers hanging and waiting for 4 months till the next season comes out . haha yes im a gossip girl freak , been watching the every episode (: very interesting story .

supernatural i think has ended, ugly betty has ended , all thats left is 90210 and even that is gonna end . goshh what am i gonna be doing without it . and why does all of them have to end at the same time . its super annoying . have to find more stuff to do during my free time . read a book ? haha (: it's been sometime since i have last read . should start reading . (:

xoxo's!

get your ass over here !

2010-05-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

i really want that tattoo ! (: the thought of being 18 is just one step closer to freedom and having to make decisions for my own. really excited . and now im planning the graduation night ! SIS people you better come if you guys want to experience the best nights in SIS especially when your graduating . im pretty sure lots of people will be coming to this on :D instead of buying your dresses , shop for bikini's and shorts ! :D

wanna get someone to design my tattoo (: this is gonna be super awesome !

xoxo's!

all within temptation ...

2010-05-14T03:07:00.000-07:00

all my agony fades a way, give me something i can believe (: part of the lyrics from within temptation . real good stuff . life have been somewhat treating me well . now its just 2 weeks left of school and hallelujah ! :D oh yeahh . can't wait for it . well i cant practically laze around since i have my driving test as well as violin exam so i doubt it . but still its something off school . late nights and late mornings (: that will be pretty often . well maybe .

my post hasnt been long ones like it used to be but well its still something (:

xoxo's!

love me or hate me (:

2010-05-11T04:14:00.001-07:00

school is ending soon , just for another 3 more weeks then i'm free . but then again i will be having driving exam and violin exam . lol at least being away from school helps (: really tired of always dread myself to be going to chemistry class . and now its ending . just to make sure i dont repeat it . im gonna study freaking hard for it and never again shall this subject be in my way . ohh yeahh .

i really am excited to the ending of school . i can't imagine the feeling of being free again . from the evil clutches of school . and one month holiday here i come (: would so love that . if i was older could probably do what i want but in a controlled manner . not something over my head but still . another year . oh well lets just hope it passes soon .

currently addicted to the music and dance of " the marionette show " it's really good.

xoxo's!

for too long i have been waiting ..

2010-05-09T22:53:00.000-07:00

had a good weekend , but ended up being a zombie when i woke up for the morning to school . kinda sucks but well yeahh . at this point of stage im not sure what im getting myself into , but i know i liked it . i have been enjoying most of my time , not wasting it on and irrelevant thoughts that used to linger in my head . probably this is something to help me move on with the darkness that has been set upon me this year . the clouds are probably vanishing and the sun is starting to light the days of my life .

very odd ? can say that . didnt expect all of it to happen really . i definitely didnt expect to suddenly put myself in another situation . pushing my luck ? maybe . am i picky ? heck yeah ! well we'll just see where this turns out . but really if you asked me ? i want it the way it is ;)

xoxo's!

like you've lost control ...

2010-05-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

idk whats happening but i think im starting to like it (: for once feeling so free . well maybe it's just not that bad as i thought it would be . so far school is school . thats getting better too . hopefully next years subjects wont kill me as much as this semester . this semester is gonna end soon & the only thing im worrying for is chemistry . so called easy subject ? not when ms.kim is your teacher thats for sure . there are 5 people in the class that is confirm gonna fail the course . well no pressure . just need to do some homework i guess .

anyways im off with my life (:

xoxo's !

the time moves slowly ... as memories slowly fade

2010-05-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

sometimes i dont know what i actually get myself into at times . but well probably it's just suppose to happen . thats what im trying to believe . it's hard when you know you might be making a big mistake but well thats life , its all risk . you wont be living without risk . i shall play my solo , till my duet shows . till then i'll just play it the way it's suppose to be played . i'm just following the notes anyways (:

xoxo's!

you'll never realize it till it's gone ...

2010-05-02T01:46:00.000-07:00

don't do what others ask or tell you to . for once think for yourself . cause once it's gone , it's gone . and it may never come back . are you willing to risk that chance over something so small and minimal ? everything is hard . with or without me . it's not gonna be any more easier than that . dont wait and regret till it's really gone . i know this is not what your planning to do . how is this gonna help you .

cause when i really get over this . i may never trust you with that chance again . it's your move .

xoxo's!

So long & good night ..

2010-04-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

If you carry on this way ,

things are better if i said ,

so long & good night ,

so long & good night.

If you can't take it so can't i . i have my set of problems & feelings but i have never taken it out on you . this is what you wanted . then it's what you get . i cant be satisfying your every need when you dont even care about what i feel . your happy with your decision . you'll get over it . just as what you've told me .

i've made my promise . but you have broken yours .

it's your turn to face the consequences .

its hard i know .

but its the best thing for you

call me what you want .

cause it will hurt me & i know it .

i cant stop you .

have a nice day

xoxo's

we're not together ..

2010-04-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life

Can't get no love without sacrifice

If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well

A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told

No hope, or love, or glory

Happy endings gone forever more

I feel as if I'm wasted

And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind

Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around

If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep

I can think that we just carried on

no happy endings ..

2010-04-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

had a bad week and dont intend to talk about it much . but all i know is that it's gonna take me a long time to carry myself up , but this time alone . i guess life sucks in that way . i'm not sure whether this is the best decision yet . but it seems like history is repeating itself . i dont understand anything anymore . you promised . well i can never rely on promises anymore now can i ?

it's like your giving up so easily & its not like you to . here i am trying to fight for what i think is right & it has been what we have been fighting for for months but its just like your giving up a dream . and want nothing to do with it anymore . well . im speechless really . and have nothing to say . just trying to accept that horror that is now called a fact .

it's the hardest story i've ever told ... that's just the cold hard truth

this is the hardest story that i've ever told ...

2010-04-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

missed you everyday . i cant deny it . you have been apart of my life for a very long time . i'm grateful to have you in my life . i may not be the best at times . but i can never be perfect . thats just human .

xoxo's !

Hier était juste comme parfait (:

2010-04-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

i'm sort of addicted to French right now (: find it sexy . lol anyways had a great day yesterday . Met up with all my friends that i havent being around with ever since i change school . Miss them tons i do agree . but it doesnt feel as awkward as it used to be . maybe cause sports day was usually my thing ? i dont know . lol once again red house won for cheer :D . somehow i still miss srikl in a way . i do like my school, but the only turn of about it is that there's no sports day .

i spent time with my bf (: and gosh havent seen him so pumped up when he's running . LOL practically he was amazing . winning all the short distance running events . lol all of us including me screaming when it was between him and another runner . real close but my baby pulled trough . winning 1st place for every event . real proud of him :D

that was practically my exciting day when the day turns dark , it was movie night with my family . we watched Sherlock Holmes . it was actually pretty scientific and very interesting . well especially for a story like that . rating of 8/10

xoxo's!

j'ai parié votre avoir des doutes

2010-04-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure whats going on in that head of yours . but if it's something that you dont want to tell me . i know the amount of stress & responsibility your put on . i just hope it's nothing too serious . well i knew i have to face it eventually . i'm already prepared for the worst . but for all thats worth , if you have a change of heart i cant stop you , and dont try to hide cause you know i will eventually find out but just so you know .

je t'aime ...

live life like it's suppose to be !

2010-04-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

not gonna post much today . yes for the first time i have finish everything thats suppose to be done . came home from school and just KO-ed on my bed till 7 or 8 then started exercising my fats away . haha i realised that i have been soo unfit soo decided to work it all out .

i dont know what to feel anymore . i swear my heart just fell . with the words that could possibly hurt me . come through those lips . is it just too good to be true ? . first you said this , & the next you said the other . how can i believe you if you keep on changing ? it could possibly be because we're just to far away or you just had a change of heart .

xoxo's

I wanna run away !

2010-04-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

havent been posting . arghh same as usual . i'm getting damn fed up with my school . its not due to the people there . well just a little few people but not most of em . it's mainly the teachers that are giving tons of work like nobody's business . i mean one for each subject is enough you know . and the project that's given to us its something that would at least take a couple of days to finish due to the fact that you work with in groups . i wanna run away from this school . just can't wait to graduate .

i went to midvalley yesterday to watch " how to train your dragon " 3 - D lol brother wanted to watch it so much so yea . it's okay the only thing bout it is that its just another typical movie where the good guy always win you know . haha but what can you expect its for kids eh ? i would give the movie a rate of 4.5/10 ? lol cause it was in 3-D :) i wouldnt say its the best outing in the world , actually might have been one of the worst but well that's my family . can't do much bout it .

xoxo's!

i'm bringing sexy back !

2010-04-16T03:32:00.000-07:00

life has been as much as it could be . as stressful as i am i did manage to loosen up . gahh school is getting so annoying when there are loads of assignments given at once and i have to end up studying too . school used to be way more fun . but ever since the new kids came and the graduates left its just have been that way . school became so weird and awkward . idk really . i just cant wait to graduate and leave the school immediately .

funny thing is i found out my parents actually reads my blog too . haihh . and this is probably recently ? or maybe longer for all i know . well i have nothing to hide fyi (: read all you want . i havent been doing anything wrong . but if i were planning to go clubbing , drinking , doing a tattoo , piercing and all that i'll let you know ;) parents are always paranoid when it comes to the following words . i wonder how it'll be when i eventually become one and end up being terrified at the words .

xoxo's!

FML !!

2010-04-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

yesterday was such a BUMMER !! first during chemistry while doing an experiment i manage to get CuCl2 in my eye. that's copper chloride and it's really stingy i don think i would want to do that again xD . then later after walking my dog i put him back in his cage and dad was like ringing the doorbell and i was like " HOLD ON ! " when i was at the garden then i slip, trip and hit my leg against the step . and its in between the knee and the foot . OUCH much.

After that i found out i stepped on a dead bee. and my foot is a little swollen . what a great day eh ? i thought my eye was going to become blue due to the copper chloride. lol my boyfriend nearly flipped when i told him my whole eye turned blue over the phone xD but was actually kidding and he was like " WHATT !! " (: poor thing, so worried all the time

xoxo's!

things are not always perfect but thats just life aint it ?

2010-04-13T06:29:00.000-07:00

yes i went for the sports day cross country trials and these were the pictures (: they arent alot cause my camera decided to run out of battery that day . but anyways i have bout a few pics .

xoxo

guess what ?

2010-04-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

Happy 3rd Month Anniversary babe ! (:

it's been officially 3 months xD haha it may not be important to anybody else but it is important to me (: loves every moment of it .

i already took the 5 hour lecture . dad doesnt want me to take the lesson till exams are over and during the holidays which will be in like what 2 months ? to me . NO WAY !! lol im going to take the test this sunday and expect to finish and get my licence by may-ish ? lol cant wait .. other than that i met these gay people and you know what . though they can be pretty bitchy but that have a freaking cute attitude and taste in fashion man. LOL mom and i were looking at volvo cars and they were like you should get it . the car is very safe and stuff :D its my first time actually meeting real gays . but they aren't as bad as people describe them to be.

xoxo's!

i never realized ..

2010-04-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

LOL sorry guys . (: i swear to you i didnt photoshop the pics (: it just that i dont know what i couldn't upload it and its not 5 pictures but its like at least 50 pictures . haha that's why when i upload one it took me 10 mins to upload it . let's try yea .

xoxo's!

how you like me now ?

2010-04-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

hey (: sry havent been updating much but well i had an interesting time yesterday . something that well there's so much drama that made it memorable. haha i got into trouble well not really since i didnt do anything but visit my friends and stuff. well i was scolded for awhile then he was like dont do it again. so im not sure whether i'll even be going to srikl's sports day at all.

after all that happened yesterday i doubt i want to get in trouble again or get others in trouble. though i really want to be there since it's gonna be the last year that i will be visiting that place ever after my friends graduate so i'm not sure . they even want me to go for charity dinner . LOL haha do you think i'd have to ask permission ? hmmm

i'm officially 1 year older now ... good or bad ? (:

xoxo's!

da beach ! :D

2010-04-03T22:11:00.000-07:00

i havent been posting cause i was in PD (: lol got tons of awesome un photoshop pics ! :D lol the lighting was good enough for it to look as if it was photoshoped :) i swear they are untouched photos ! i'll start posting them when i get back tonight . but for now im still stuck here till dinner . soo will be here for awhile .

will re-update

xoxo's !

300th post !!

2010-03-30T06:27:00.001-07:00

My 300th post !! woohoo !! (: sorry . dont feel like updating today but dont want to keep the blog boring soo ..

today we had a fire drill as in the whole college as well as my school had to evacuate to the field . there was a traffic jam from the car park to the field . then it seems the fire engine as well as the ambulance came and went back . LOL its very random but pretty cool .

okay now im getting lazy .. picture time :D

xoxo's!

been there , done that !

2010-03-28T02:37:00.000-07:00

i nearly lost winter today . when i was feeding him he just jumped out of my hand and disappeared . he has always been the curious and naughty one too . and im pretty sure this isnt the last time he's gonna dash out again . the naughty fella .

other than that nothing much has been done except homework and stuff . i went for this charity dinner last night in a temple in brickfields . its suppose to be this sri lanka food and it was suppose to be really nice . but ended up we didnt get half the things that was stated in the menu and the food suck . i rather eat in the mamak than eat that food . lol and we paid rm1000 for the whole dinner . geez but anyways its suppose to be for charity for the new building so whatever .

not only that im having these coupons that im suppose to sell . rm10 per coupon . its on 25th of April , Sunday . in brickfield sunday school temple . and its this family day thing . also going to be given to charity . LOL if anybody's interested contact me yea ?

other than that i nothin much really occurred during my holidays . same old . i watched alice in wonderland and that sucked . remember me is another boring and emo story . goshh all the movie sucks now . lucky i didnt go to the theater's to watch . it wouldnt be worth it .

xoxo's!

what would you want to do before you grow old ?

2010-03-26T04:35:00.000-07:00

hey (: i have decided to get a tattoo . dont know whether its a good idea yet but im planning to when i turn 18 ! i have spent at least half the day looking at tattoo designs got any suggestions ? LOL maybe im becoming crazy haha . but i dont care (: we only get one time to live so live life to the fullest right ? ;D

my 2 baby squirrels eyes has finally open and their super duper active . their like jumping everywhere . the poor thing got scared when it rained . hmmm their okay now though . Summer & Winter are their names :) yes i can tell the difference . i have been keeping them bout 1 week plus they are super adorable !

i have a few things to accomplish well before i grow old and i intend to do everything ;) no its nothing wrong . since i havent been clubbing before . yes its sad but i didnt go . anyways i just want the experience . whether i like it or not its a different thing . and im turning 17 so soon . arghh its good and bad but well i cant stop time now can i ?

xoxo's!

oohh what you say ?

2010-03-23T07:44:00.001-07:00

& HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATHIRA !! ATIII ACHII !! :D

she's so gonna kill me .

lol found this on my laptop :D

i'm having a chemistry test tomorrow . yes i have studied for this one . but still dont get just a few parts of it . i have to make sure i score for this one . its the only way to boost up my marks . geez its just like soo much pressure . hmm anyways school is school . and im actually blogging during my career's class . Mr.C is so gonna kill me if he found out . hmmm (:

xoxo's!

when your hot then your cold ..

2010-03-21T20:33:00.001-07:00

the poor thing fell asleep on my lappie (:

another day in school . you know you get those mornings that you feel so tired to wake up to another day of school or work. i'm sooo tired today . can barely stay awake thats for sure . its just one of those days. yes i had alot of assignments to do . especially printing out and handing it in by tomorrow. i really didnt feel like blogging for the pass few days cause well there's nothing much to blog about.

my super gay friend decided to be bitchy today, yeshh its super annoying . it's like i'm tired, as well as tons of assignments that are 80% complete that needs to be done by today but i still put a good face . i hate it when people let out all their stress and emotions out on you and make you look like the bad one in the end . its not like im the one that pissed you off.

yes you know im very into cheer . and there's also tons of things for me to finish up . further more i have the responsibility to bring up the whole team . what kind of stress you think i am in now ? i have quit some of my activities just to make room to do cheer and as well as choreograph the dance and so on . i dont expect you to do the same as i am but just being there to support me . this is my freaking first time being captain and its freaking stressing me out . as a best buddy i expected you to be the shoulder that helps boost me up during these times .

haihh i dont know . i dont hate you but i just dislike your attitude today . hmmm anyways i got home and got Summer and Winter to cheer me up a little (: . they are my 2 new baby squirrels that i just gotten remember .

xoxo's!

its just another day ...

2010-03-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

yesterday and today is just another day spent at home . other than me going to the gym then thats it . i havent been going to the gym for a freaking long time and feel very unfit . i'd probably do the same today . watch after summer, snow ( the 2 new squirrels i got ) and scamp ( my dog ) probably practice my violin , & study chemistry . yes very boring day but well i have to do it anyways .

i might be seeing the bf later (: well thats just maybe and well life isnt treating me as bad as it used to . its not 100% fantastic but it isnt as bad . so im happy at where im at . schools gonna start soon lol cant wait to see my buddies . i miss them to bits .

time moves slower when life is boring and still but time moves faster when it's exciting and fun.

xoxo's!

unforgettable !

2010-03-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

had a fabulous day with the bf (: was out with my cousin , her bf , my bf , me and chryssa (: haha i know its freaking awkward at first but it was fine towards the end (: we watch 2 movies today the first one is " from paris with love " and " Up in the air " LOL both movies were awesome and unexpected (: . thought it was gonna be boring but it was okay .

then my bf parents sent me home . omg i thought they were gonna hate me cause seriously they were the ones that were so against him dating me . though they have never met me before . so okay sat in the car & talk to his siblings . and after dropping him and his siblings off it was just me, chryssa and the parents . well they chat with me for abit till i reached home that is. it seems that they thought i was nice hmmm . well the whole outing was perfect to me and wouldnt forget any minute of it .

sadly i couldnt sleep at all . but he was there (: im so lucky . i wouldnt wanna change anything . my life is at its perfect state . and now i have to take care of 2 baby squirrels

xoxo's!

so give me a reason to live .

2010-03-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

im freaking depress . it's like the fact that no matter how happy you choose to be it just have to end with depression . it f*cking sucks . it's like life has plan every way to make you angry, depress, pissed off and so on . if we're suppose to live in the world thats screwed up and full of shitty attitude's then i dont see the point in living .

people say we only have one life . but whats the point if everything , well most of it is just plain old screwed up . im pretty sure everybody faces this shit everyday . whether your in school , at work , on the road , just practically anywhere . today was freaking screwed up . for some reason i dont know why im soo clumsy . and end up cutting my finger and dropping everything else .

who knows maybe today's suppose to be like one of my bad days or something . then i dont get to see my bf. all i did was do my homework and take care of the dog practically. its like what i live for or something . its just like today i end up hurting myself physically and emotionally .

...

there's no surprise i wont see you tomorrow ..

2010-03-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

sorry guys dont feel like posting anything today but its just a quick recap ..

yesterday i went to bangsar with 3 of my grandparents . lol it was very hard to move around since they can only walk in a slow pace so we walked around bangsar village then dropped them off at the thai massage centre . lol when we picked them up they were so happy xD so adorable really . then we had tea at chatterbox . the food there is not bad (: . look for cars since mom wanted to change it and then head home.

today we went to look at houses (: though the houses nowadays are like average mostly up to 2 million and above . my parents are slowly making up their mind and looking at other places . i only brought 2 of my grandparents . we went to subang parade for tea and then to the electrical store where we spent at least 2 hours just because my mom was a very slow decision maker. picked up my dog from the vet and head home . didnt really do much really other than seeing the houses .

funny thing is i havent finish one assignment yet their all half way done :O kill me ! there is still 7 days till school starts :(

xoxo's!

on the radio, stereo the way you move aint fair you know ..

2010-03-11T06:47:00.001-08:00

i know this is cheesy but im gonna say it anyways :) it's gonna be my second month with my bf ! lol i know its only 2 months but what the heck i deserve to be happy and this blog is what i will cherish when i grow older and look back upon my past. all these little things excite's me .

today was hilarious i feel like a freaking small kid . i saw one of my friends with heely's (: im pretty sure everyone knows what that is anyways after seeing it . i then remembered i had a pair myself but thats when i was pretty young . when i got home i put my bags in my room and then start searching for them till 7 pm . yesh i didnt managed to find it . lol i know this is ridiculous but i really wanted to play with them since i havent been doing that for years now ?

i wouldnt care if i was weird to others . if i prefer to dress or be different . because that's me (: just not like everyone else but me . odd little me , yes my bf agree's that im odd but he still loves me . haha ! he's weird for loving weird people .

tomorrow's the last day of school and then 1 week holidays ! i also heard mr.nathan is finally leaving srikl after soo long . lol he must have really love the school . tmrw is also dress down day . so still not sure what i plan to wear . but will figure it out soon enough

xoxo's!

Mein Kampf !

2010-03-09T01:06:00.000-08:00

this is the plant :D

i have a gay buddy ! (: and no the buddy isnt a girl . lol its a guy . haha it's nice sometimes your able to tell stuff and really open up without judgement . just not getting people laughing about it , admire , hate and so on . and that gay buddy is * drumrolls " brandon gavin jawi " haha i know weird name but he's cool . i know i can count on him for most things like example he's joining my cheerleading team . and has alot of experience so at least i have someone well verse in cheer and stuff :P and i found out that my team since it's co-ed & international , the team will have to take the international competition that is ISKL , CHARM all stars and so on O.o goshh . i wonder whats the level of competition .

other than that . idk how i did this but part of my locker handle the one that supports the door of the locker came out ;P haha dont ask me how i did this but it came out . so annoying . now it's freaking hard to open and close it when im in a rush for example today . i had so many things to accomplish that was given and had to be passed up on the same day .

have tons of assignments due after the holidays ! (: school's giving one week holiday so at least i get a break from all the school stuff and will take my undang " driver's writing test " and probably decorate my box. you guys know im currently having my own business in sunway pyramid . selling mini plants in an air tight bottle (: so i have to start doing my work and stuff.

not only that i will have to start playing my guitar / violin / piano . and have to see the bf of course :) most probably will go out with him or something next week . thats bout it .

xoxo's !

Alarm clocks kill dreams !

2010-03-05T19:21:00.001-08:00

to some blogger eileen you guys can read what she had to comment on my recent post its on the " cant believe it " post . i dont know who you are to judge asian people but no he isnt tiny . firstly i dont like to be judge with what i put in this . i treat this blog as my diary in a way public diary . i dont include much detail but its practically the main topic . my life isnt always full of drama but if you expect more than i could give then you shouldn't be reading this blog at all

back to the post . yes i love my asian boyfriend alot . i dont expect anyone to understand that . but im sure you do have a guy in your life that makes you feel special . whether he's fat , thin , tall , short , pretty , hot , ugly, geeky and so on . he is what makes you happy . i really like the fact he's always looking out for me . and i haven't been seeing him for more than 3 weeks . you cant blame me from being so whinny when i describe him .

now ms shanon the drama teacher acts as if she's interested in my cheerleading squad. im not sure she really cares but whatever . bringing up a team is seriously hard especially when i have half the team not experience and have no what so ever in gymnastics and dancing . but i did promised myself that im gonna whip them up to awesome cheerleaders that's for sure . and who knows maybe someone will lead on my legacy once i leave this school .

my body was seriously aching from all the jumping around . geez feel like an old lady . guess im not as fit as i used to be but thats gonna change . i am so gonna get my licence . haha i been bringing this up many times but i am truly excited . once i get it i will be close to freedom . life has been treating me well . other than that there's the osslt exam that i will have to sit on 9th April that is 2 days after my birthday . pretty sad i know but i cant do much bout it . doubt i will be celebrating this year but most probably the following year.

xoxo's!

nobody really know's .

2010-03-03T03:27:00.000-08:00

at last found out that my baby's all right . well not soo all right but okay (: i think many people flunk the chemistry test cause most of them handed in 1 page blank . although i finish it . all thats written is crap . all full of crap . i did study but towards the end i sort of died .. but anyways now that's over . i have to just finish my lab report and im done .

cheer is tomorrow . though ms.shanon found out that i wanted to use her drama mats for cheer . i mean i havent asked her yet. was planning to but i was thinking bout the inconvenience to bring the mats outside then after that bring it back . but anyways she called me aside and was giving me the bitch talk .

shanon : i heard you want to use the mats for your cheerleading ? * in the most sarcastic way

me : erm yeah but i'm not sure that i want to

shanon : cause you know they are my mats and the mats are not leaving the drama room and you never even asked me for permission to use the room in the first place .

me : okay ? but i didnt even use it

shanon : well who is your teacher in charge ? do you even have a teacher in charge ?

me : yes i do and she's ms. kim * rolled eyes

shanon : oh okay, you know if you really want to use my room you should have ask me earlier cause i have drama on mondays and you cant use the room

me : i dont think i want to use your room cause im not going to throw people through the ceiling now would i ?

among all the teacher's she is one of the worst annoying ones trust me . she can just bitch talk you with that " acting " drama stuff. pity the husband mr. gregory well thats his problem . the conver continues till i said i'm not planning to use your room. thank god she wasnt my cheer teacher. i nearly did cause she' s into the whole drama and dance thing ? but whatever . all my cheerleaders agreed well most of them that ms kim is better than ms shanon . she's like this all the time . hate her attitude . but what am i to judge im not that perfect either. i have my flaws as well .

i have this thing that cant change . i usually become paranoid when it comes to work , friends and others. it's really bad but im trying to change . it's really hard but well i have to try rite ? gah and many other flaws . i admit im not that perfect but i accepted it and willing to change for the better.

that's practically my day .. the rest is all boring

xoxo's!

cant believe it ..

2010-03-02T06:18:00.001-08:00

omg !! i'm freaking worried now . first i found out that i have forgotten bout the chemistry test tomorrow but already studied for it and now my sick baby doesnt pick up the phone on me . i really hope you'd get better . i dont know if he's in the hospital or not . gah me and my paranoia . he doesnt let me visit him cause he wants me to study -.- okay fine after school . nooo . i dont feel secured with whatever you say till i see it for myself . i know you care alot but you cant be saying everything's okay when its not . that's till i say its okay .

i'm left with my oh so many thoughts with the things that could possibly happen ...

xoxo's!

am i to keep smiling for the sake of it ?

2010-03-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

this is benny (: so adorable but freakin huge

have been having uneasy feelings for the past few days . well probably just insecure , about stuff . couldn't really think bout anything else but to be hurt once more with my over thinking of stuff. really hate it when i do that but it has been a bad habit ever since i was young . i cant mention about it at all .

chemistry is killing me in the process too . and everything has been trying to kill me for the past few days . i really hope this would pass soon cause if this were to continue , i'd probably break down .

xoxo's!

i'm addicted to you !

2010-02-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

havent been updating lately cause i was just not in the mood to blog.

well couple of days ago i had the first cheer practice for my school. was really satisfied with what we manage to accomplish after just 1 and a half hours ? and its most of their first time ever doing cheer. thanks leexian for helping me teach the new people . it's really difficult but we made it through . and thanks cheerleaders for coming that day . it was a real good practice and waiting to see you guys for the next practice.

other than that i went to hana's house to finish of the english assignment and i managed to edit it the following day . gosh her dogs were huge but so adorable . this is probably the 2 week or 3 week since i've seen my baby . gosh miss him soo much but i cant do anything about it . well thats all really , other than that nothin much happen . just another week of more school :/

xoxo's!

i want your horror, i want your disease !

2010-02-23T05:29:00.000-08:00

i cut my hair !! its not a bad hair cut but it sure is short . much shorter than before . will post the picture for the next post (: sadly my fingers are sore from trying to pick up the guitar after playing for bout an hour ? as for my cheer team . im really not sure cause some of the people are not commited as i wished they were . and im only with 11 people including myself . ish this is hard

i think for this whole week im not gonna go for any extra activities . i have been sooo tired and get headaches after school . at times i feel like throwing out . dont know why i feel this way for the past couple of days when im done with school . probably just tired i guess.

now im freaking out cause my partner for the civics project still havent pass up his part of the project to me . i dont know how i am gonna put it together if he's not done with his. geez im so done with mine but i cant print until i got his . and even if i gotten his work i still have to edit it . further more civics is during the first period . somebody kill me XO.

was also look at super hot heels but sadly i'm not sure if i'll be able to walk in them due to the height . yes i dont usually walk in heels so imagine my heel is 10cm high . probably dying to my feet. it aint cheap either so not sure if i should get it .

i'm dying here without you ...

xoxo's !

the sun is shinning from your bedroom window ..

2010-02-21T03:49:00.000-08:00

Saturday ! (:

went out with the family to sunway pyramid to watch the tooth fairy (: it's not bad really i'll give it a 6.5/10 cause the jokes are veryy lame soo sometimes it isnt that funny but its okay . then finally got a guitar for myself but now i'm trying my best to pick it up . practically tried playing it till 9 then talk to the boyfriend till midnight . poor baby (: thanks alot hun . he's super exhausted but still want to layan me .

Sunday !

then as for today i went out with my mom practically the whole day cause she cannot make up her mind -.- ended up walking everywhere and back to the same store twice just to find out bout the types of laptops . and she ended up with a white vaio. goshh this seriously took too long . got soo tired and bored at the same time . this whole week of holidays wasnt as interesting as i thought it would be since everything just didnt go my way well for some of it that is .

better start on chemistry .

xoxo's !

feel so loved but broken ...

2010-02-19T05:33:00.001-08:00

i never felt so needy before ,

not seeing you has deepen the knife ,

but dont get me wrong ,

been loving you since ,

just sometimes i wish i could be there ,

seeing you day by day ,

not even seeing you for a week feels like forever ,

missing every inch of you ,

but it's what makes me stronger ,

to be able to resist my wants ,

i'm pretty sure if we were meant to be ,

faith will find its way to bring us together .

you

xoxo's !

do you know what ya got into ?

2010-02-18T20:12:00.000-08:00

it doesnt bother me that your talking behind my back (:

cause it shows how low you are

and how threaten you are towards me
xoxo's!

i won't hesitate !

2010-02-15T09:07:00.000-08:00

this is my aunt that made " the look "

lol we're giving " the look " created by my aunt (:

the geeky bf (:

Chinese New Year is a bummer since im not allowed to go visiting i dont see the point in celebrating or going back in the first place other than spend time with my grandparents and a few of my cousins. Didnt manage to keep in touch with the bf, something is really wrong with that boy's phone.

other than that i just came back from melaka and will be going back again on wednesday . since my mom promised me shopping cause we were deciding whether we should be staying in some hotel while we're there but instead the hotels cost a bomb just for 2 nights at least 1k . so mom was like i rather spend that money on you then you'll be able to shop so why not.

the only thing im looking forward this week is being able to spend time with my cousins on thursday if they were to spent a couple of nights in my place and seeing the bf on saturday ! (: for now i have to finish up my homework that's being left behind.

xoxo's !

turn it up, heat it up i need to be entertained !!

2010-02-13T23:06:00.000-08:00

CNY wont be as interesting as it suppose to be since i cant go visiting and all . soo just gonna sit in the house proabably do my homework . sad now isnt it . i so want another puppy so for scamp to have another friend other that me . it gets annoying and sad when he always wants to play around and stuff . its just that im the only person that's taking care of him . and since he's not allowed in the house due to my maid so he's outside most of the time.

CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO ADAM LAMBERT'S NEW SONG

FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT !!

further more i'll only see the bf like probably next week and he and i come back from our individual hometowns . i dont feel the cny spirit anymore . well it doesnt feel as exciting as how it used to be . going to take my licence soon !! and then pick a car ;)

but first licence it is. . .

xoxo's!

The LOOK!! 0.o

2010-02-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

~ Yesterday ~

had dinner with the family including cousins, aunts and uncles.

had chinese actually one of the best char siew (:

it was fun being together with the family after a long time

but eventually we all know that i'd end up working the fats out.

pretty tiring day like right after school studied chemistry with a friend

went for violin class and straight away got ready to go for dinner

but seriously thank god i didnt have much homework.

i'd probably die

by the time i got home i was pretty pooped out cause its nearly 12

Today ?

suppose to study chemistry with a friend again

meet the boyfriend ? well maybe

then study, homework, study

and thats bout it really other than the fact that

of way my teacher teaches chemistry it never did made me understand anything . until i started studying by myself and got some friends help . she just makes things way too complicated that it suppose to be really.

CNY is coming (:

one week of holidays is what i need .

xoxo's !

i remember what you wore on the first day ..

2010-02-09T04:37:00.000-08:00

believe it or not i have never became so expressive bout anything . really miss him tons . yesh i sound like those overated couples xD haha oh well . anyways practically my day has been really tiring + boring. have tons of homework today so wont be blogging much .

the only that had to ruin my day was chemistry. yeshhh after missing about 6 days during the course like not in the beginning but towards the middle . im trying my best to cope with it . i have never struggled with a course before and well can say there's a first for everything .

didnt go tennis today cause i was super exhausted from yesterday and have tons of homework so it's just going to make things worst if i went .

xoxo's!

it's a bright sunny day !

2010-02-08T02:18:00.001-08:00

rock onn !

yesterday was the best day ever (: i stayed at home so learned how to cook from my other grandma from singapore . She's soo cute seriously (: damn adorable , i painted her nails :D haha and she kept on laughing . Then later in the evening i went ping pong with edward then right after that met with the boyfriend (: Thank you hun for the gift ! love you .

The giraffe jump over the moon !

Right after that i headed home from the park and dad just arrived home . had a small family gathering and tonight i'm going out for dinner . goshh since im going to be eating alot while my grandma is stuffing me down with food just finish doing 150 crunches !! (: super tired . played volleyball and ran back . Dont have that much homework . and scored for the history test ! :D

you can say i'm progressing (: really .. life has been good so far after the devastating lost i had . im sure she's up there watching after me to ensure everything happens at the right time and moment . now all thats on the list is practising my violin , study and learn how to play the guitar , and my life would be complete for now that is .

xoxo's ciaos babes ! (:

Wednesday !!

2010-02-05T01:12:00.000-08:00

well since im just sitting around might as well blog for abit ;) i had school as usual . but stayed back for tennis (: this is like probably the 5th time i have ever played the game. I admit i suck alot at it but im trying . its super tiring cause the wonderful sun decided to be there . LOL i sweat in minutes and that doesnt usually happen.

I got home , since my maid isnt around for awhile my room + house is in a mess practically . The house is sooo big to maintain . i had tons of chores to do and so did my mom . practically she dragged me down with her though i have tons of work and stuff to do .

plus had to take care of my doggie , cat , fish & turtle . LOL eversince she came back today the house is abit more cleaner . i did my part to help now , even learned how to cook in the process. not an easy job i must say and im suppose to go to the gym which i nvr end up going due to all this.

the cheerleading team im gonna put together might just work. all i need to do is make the announcement , the people are there and HARDCORE TRAINING ! haha wish me luck . lets see if we have enough time to participate in the cheer 2010 . lol doubt it but there's always hope (:

xoxo's!

Domokun!!

2010-02-04T22:53:00.000-08:00

sorry havent been updating , well cause i fell sick with a super bad sore throat and a fever soo was too tired to update. even then there was soo many test and quizzes going on and had to go back to melaka again for the final prayer of my late grandmother.

so much has been going on but guys everything is fine with be and the boyfriend. just had some complications earlier soo yea (: lol my lesbo cousins well couldnt camwhore that day cause i didnt bring my camera.

have to finish up all the previous homework .. .damn wish me luck

xoxo's!

that same old broken down road ..

2010-02-01T06:58:00.000-08:00

i was ready to face many disappointments in life, cause thats how life is .. its screwed up really .

but we still continue to live, why ? is it not to disappoint our loved ones ? cause we're just scared to die ? suffering in life is just the things that happen everyday . even now . everyday we learn from our mistakes but why didnt i ?

trying to be able to trust a person with something valuable as love is something very hard to do.

but i trust you anyways cause i know you wouldnt do anything to harm it .

but its okay, it wasn't anybody's fault .

all i know is that i gave my all and that i did try .

if it just couldn't work now maybe it will in the future .

don't feel sorry for me . cause i had the best moments of my life (:

xoxo's!

what do you think about me now ?

2010-01-31T07:13:00.000-08:00

just when you think everything is going so well ,

everything just fall back on you again ,

it's like having this big barrier in front of you ,

that is nearly impossible to reach.

it's sad to know that i cant see you ,

just when i thought things will go fine ,

things just seems to be in the way ,

as if its not meant to be .

things happens for a reason most of the time ,

this time, although i dont want to ,

but this keeps on appearing ,

the whole reason why i had that 1 year resolution .

its just coming back to haunt me ,

killing me not physically but emotionally ,

yes i might be some weakling to run away from the things i dont want to face ,

i was never that strong either .

i just thought well maybe this is a sign from god ,

idk its just something that i believed in ,

you have always been there not physically but virtually ,

and all this isnt your fault .

though you want me to have the best of happiness ,

idk if i could 100% guarantee you that whether your there or not ,

that i would have that happiness that you seek ,

i have been down this road before .

still dont know why i dont learn from my mistakes ,

i just thought this time it might be different ,

as stupid i may seem ,

i cant face the facts of life ...

it'll be hard for me but please dont worry bout me ...

xoxo's

and now your gone forever ...

2010-01-30T03:30:00.000-08:00

this is my late grandma .. she was and still is pretty dont you agree

no words can describe how much i miss you , how i felt for you when you were gone . but im sure your watching over me all the time ;) love you !

xoxo's!

i wanna fly to the moon !

2010-01-30T00:15:00.000-08:00

seriously i need a gym partner now :( its really boring when you go to the gym, work out and stuff but it aint that fun. getting fatter by the day and probably lazy too and i cant live that way . my days has been practically boring . its like homework, school, violin, study, school, have to see that stupid bottle lady that i'm doing business with.

thats why when this cheer thing becomes a success, there will be more excitement at least something to look forward especially the driving thing (: turning 17 pretty soon. excited ? idk really . get on with life . CARPE DIEM ! (: my new word

your not alive if your not living life (:

xoxo's!

laugh , cry , sad , anger ..

2010-01-28T03:05:00.000-08:00

Myra left to Melbourne last night, i wish her the best to not bump into those twins ;) * inside joke

the ipad looks awesome (: i roughly estimate it'll only be rm1.698 . freaking cheap for an apple that is. lets hope this shall be my new toy (:

anyways she'll be back by the time my birthday arise . AHH im soo old ! but looking at the bright side i would be able to take my licence (: now wouldnt that be awesome ! though i've got tons of homework but seriously im freaking tired . I'm literally working like a dog or something , as if i dont have a life.

well my whining isnt gonna get me anywhere so anybody wanna go out ? (: just call me yeah ? i havent watch a movie in the theatres for a long time all because of school , clubs and etc . sound like some geek seriously. Joining practically every club there is.

there's no drama

no complications

no nothing so ..

dont expect to blog bout it either.

xoxo's!

midnight crisis ..

2010-01-26T11:52:00.000-08:00

back from melaka again , and missed another day of school . soo far i manage to catch up after the 3 days but most likely i'd be able to. my dad gave me milo mocha at 10 and now its gonna be 4 in the morning and i cant sleep sadly . in 2 hours im gonna wake up again to get ready for school . geez what a great nite ehh ?

i went down for a cup of water and now my dog is making soo much unbelievable noise . think i should bring him to my room ? since nobody's awake at this hour and i cant sleep anyways . i probably will . idk .

the zombie at 4 in the morning !

xoxo's !

denying that i feel so much better ..

2010-01-24T04:31:00.000-08:00

sometimes you feel happy ,

and others you feel like shit .

when reality hits you in the face ,

you wish you never exist .

I've known you so well ,

That only I can tell .

Don't break me, cause I'm just to fragile to be broken again..

now that your gone ..

2010-01-22T06:20:00.000-08:00

hey been away for awhile , been missing school for 3 days and im gonna die trying to keep up from all the work i've missed . i went back to melaka for my grandmother's funeral , well i was a total wreck really . nothing can hide the fact that i miss her and that now she's gone forever . i wouldnt hear her laugh , talk , nothing ..

i have never experience a lost before , im trying to take it as the best way i can but at times i cant just keep it all in . though i cried for days till my eyes swell, it still didnt change the grief i had for her. all i can do now is nothing . it sucks .

this is just a quick update .. pictures will come up tomorrow i suppose . thanks guys for the support . really appreciate it . anyways gtg ..

xoxo's

R.I.P Pati ... I love you so much !

2010-01-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

yesterday was suppose to be a happy occasion for all of our families. My uncle and aunty celebrated their 25 anniversary with all our families reunited and that night itself after dinner was over my grandma fell into a coma & stroke. All of us was seriously shock at the sudden cause but all we could do is wait to find what the doctors could tell us. My eyes were swollen that night due to the crying that i cant seem to stop.

You have been a wonderful grandma, someone so patient, kind, caring, humble and the list goes on. Though i really want to see you before your gone, i just couldnt stand to see that your gonna go. In me i still felt as if your still here, that your sitting in that chair beside the kitchen watching tv. My heart fell to the ground to see you faint. i could barely hold myself together.

how am i suppose to continue my life when i know the people around me will die one day ? i cant handle that kind of thing . im just too weak to know that your gone forever, you lived a good life i must say. I just hope you'd be there in the heaven's above if there is one.

R.I.P Pati

i love you so much, in our memories always ...

xoxo's!

you belong with me !

2010-01-16T07:27:00.001-08:00

i figured i change some stuff in my blog (: since i have been using the same pictures for while . Anyways the sad thing is i have tons to accomplish like my violin exam is coming , followed by my incomplete chemistry assignment and well study . haha yeah i know studying but what am i to do , i have to do it at some point of time .

the good news is i went shopping (: haha i practically spent 1k in 1u lol im not sure if this is a good thing but i have new stuff . best thing of all , im proud to announce that i have a boyfriend . yes its pretty sudden but im sure you'll get used to it . i dont expect anyone to judge my decisions but as friends i would like the support . life has been too quiet , and that's why your here (:

xoxo's !